Forewarned is forearmed: lots of pregnancy talk in this post.
We haven't decided when we're going public with The Project. There was a small handful of people in whom we had confided: our parents, some close girlfriends who listened to my IVF whining, and--you know--the Internet. But that was it.
On Friday, the principal at my school flattered me enormously by offering me a job for the fall. I would love this job, but as it happens I'm due at the end of August and assuming things go as scheduled (uh huh), there's no way I'll be ready to show up for work the Tuesday after Labor Day. This job, though, is calendar-specific. They need someone for that particular semester (though the position would continue thereafter).
Part of the job would start soon...as in next week soon. So after she offered me the job, she grabbed my hand to pull me into the Director of Operations office so he could fill out some emergency paperwork that would get me my teaching license almost immediately. I stuttered, I stammered, I blushed furiously, and because I could think of nothing else to do, I got up and closed her office door and said, "There's something I have to tell you."
And so she knows. She was very sweet about it, wished me well, and told me not to be a stranger when I was ready to teach again (I will continue my current student teaching until June). I told her that I wasn't planning to share this news with anyone else just yet, and she said she understood completely, and then I opened her office door and walked outside.
Where the entire English department was staring at me. She had asked everyone's opinion of me for the job, you see, so they all knew what was supposed to have gone on, but clearly things hadn't gone as planned. "Do you want to talk about it?" my cooperating teacher asked me, and because I still couldn't think of a creative way around it, I took her into the hallway and told her too.
"This is very new," I said. "I've had some losses, and we're nervous and weren't planning to tell anyone yet." She said she understood and would keep quiet, and then I said I needed to take a walk to collect myself and there--in a hallway that had filled with students and teachers changing classes--she called after me, "Congratulations!"
Motherfucker. It feels certain that the whole deparment will know by Monday if they don't already.
I feel awfully superstitious about all this, and though it will now be a little easier to explain my need for schedule flexibility vis-a-vis doctors' appointments, I wish I still had my privacy.