Knowing What I Know Now

Thanks to everyone who contributed lullabies  (and especially to those who offered to burn and send CDs--technology is a wonderful thing).  Keep the recommendations coming.  An exhaustive list of posted and other resources is forthcoming.

*****

Yesterday, The Boy and I went to Target.  It was a completely unremarkable trip, which is saying something.  Our first trip to Target some three months ago was an entirely different story.  It was our first solo shopping expedition requiring coordination of car, car seat, Snap N Go, nursing schedule, and alternate side of the street parking, but for my level of competence, it may as well have included cold fusion.

That trip ended in tears--first The Boy's, then my own--as we abandoned our would-be purchases in the checkout line and retreated home to bed, where we remained, sniffling and nursing until my husband got home from work several hours later.  Good times.

So, even though I still feel pretty wobbly in the parenting department on a daily basis, it's nice to observe some occasional progress.  To that end, here are four things I know now that I wish I'd known then:

1.  An occasional bottle of formula is not going to torpedo your breastfeeding ambitions.  Personally, I found pumping stressful and breastfeeding in some heavily trafficked areas difficult so making peace with giving The Boy some formula strictly for reasons of convenience vastly improved the quality of my life.  More often than not, I don't need to give it to him, but knowing that I can is an enormous security blanket.

2.  People everywhere will have advice about what's wrong with your crying infant, whether they express it verbally or simply with raised eyebrows.  Even if these people are Mary Poppins or Jo Frost or Dr. William Sears, you don't have to listen to them if you don't want to.

3.  The advice to "sleep whenever your baby is sleeping" can get annoying.  First, even if you sleep when your baby is sleeping, that's still not enough sleep.  Second, the times when your baby is sleeping are the only times (in the beginning) that you'll have to do a million things, from peeing to eating to updating your blog.  These things are just as essential to your physical and mental well being as sleeping and woe betide the person who suggests that they are not.

4.  Everything's better if you've taken a shower.

Comments

[deborah]

Let's hear a big HELL YEAH for #3!

[Alexa]

Congratulations on your unremarkable trip to Target--it sounds quite remarkable to me, compared to the last one.
And I think #4 is true even if you don't have a baby--everything *is* better if you've taken a shower.

[kelly jeanie]

Yeah, I heard #4 a lot. Much like you, I changed it to "Don't do anything when your baby is sleeping that you can do when your baby is awake." Which includes sleeping, but also includes the aforementioned showering, blogging, etc.

[Christine]

Amen to all of them, but ESPECIALLY # 3 and 4. The shower is a non-negotiable in this house.

[kelly jeanie]

Oops, I meant #3! *runs wailing back into lurking closet*

[Brooklyn Girl]

Kelly Jeanie--Now that you're here, stay awhile!

[janet]

Hell to the Yeah on #4.

Life without shower makes Janet a VERY cranky gal.

[beaver girl]

amen to #3! it's only good advice if you have the same interests and friends as your baby - meaning zero. sometimes getting something done or talking to someone when he's asleep can be as restorative as sleep!

[Sherry]

Sing it, sister. Not for nothing, but I think you're doing a fabulous job.

And, I second, LOUDLY, about the showers.

[swissmiss]

Another amen to #3 and #4. Even while I was still in the hospital after giving birth I would wheel Small Boy's basinett into the cafe and drink tea and read the New York Review of Books as he slept. My husband kept telling me to nap; I kept saying I know I'll pay for this later, but it's really important. I was right. And now at 12 months SB's naps are when I do my work because he wants wants wants the computer and won't let me be once he has seen it. I shower when he's awake, and he sits in his bouncy seat and watches me shower. (This probably wouldn't work so well if we didn't have glass doors on the shower stall, but thankfully we do.)

And I always, always shower every day.

[erika]

TOTALLY. Sleep when the baby sleeps has always pissed me off. I mean, what am I an automaton with an on/off sleep button? I almost always write when my babe's sleeping because it's the only time I can do it. And then I just take a sleeping pill and pass out while she's up. Kidding.

[Laura K.]

delurking and missed the CD post...so if you have already had these suggestions, my apologies. My (and my kids') favorites, in this order, are: Martha Stewart Baby: Sleepytime; Mother Earth Lullabies (Julia hooked me on it), Norah Jones, and Nickel Creek.

For good play music, we like For the Kids and Martha Stewart Playtime.

Yes, Martha. Ack, I know, but she can put together a darn good mix!

[dish]

Another Hell Yeah for #4. I made getting a shower and getting dressed each day almost an obsession. It was the only thing that made me feel human. Sleeping was nothing- I was *clean* and *wearing clothes*. Now THAT is an accomplishment!

[ValleyGal]

I want a shirt with #3 on it, so when I mention how tired I am to my husband, neighbor, checkout person, etc., and they suggest I sleep when the baby does, I can just point to that instead of clenching my teeth and saying, "Mmmhmmm."