Tug of War

Last week I cried at the playground.

The Boy just would not get into his stroller.  I had tried every bribe in my arsenal, but he was not tempted.  Even walking with me and pushing the stroller was unappealing.  What he really wanted  to do, it seems, was scamper into the swing area, run directly into the path of a swinging kid, and get knocked down.  Understandably (well, perhaps to the non-toddlers among us), I couldn't allow that.

So, after he had had tantrums in front of every occupied bench in the park, we were reduced to a tug of war: he struggling to get to the nirvana of the swing area, me holding onto his arm trying to keep him safe.  I had The Girl strapped to my chest in the Bjorn so I was physically incapable of picking up The Boy so we seemed to be at an impasse.

The Boy wiggled out of my grasp and, luckily, was distracted away from the swings to go play in the sprinkler.  I felt so defeated, so utterly at a loss about what to do--except perhaps to vow  never to set foot in the playground with two children again.

Comments

[Cat, Galloping]

oh man, i dread the day when i can't just pick up Gatito and carry him away from whatever it is... you have my sympathies!

(couldn't you just, maybe, tuck him under your arm? no?)

[MotherLawyer]

OMG I feel your pain...it is very frightening and humiliating when they just will not listen or comply!

I am turning into my mother b/c I will NOT live with a child who will not obey. Poor kid I'm so mean I don't want the dog to bite him, car to hit him, bee to sting him, etc etc etc!

Glad to hear it ended well.

[JK]

It will get better. I can't tell you when exactly, but really, it will. (I can't tell you when exactly because 1) every kid is different and 2) I don't want to depress you if I say a number too far off into the distant future)

Know you're not alone and take comfort from that. Life with two so close in age is hard. I was there. I feel your pain. Now I have 3 and won't go many places alone because they are too little to be trusted.

It will get easier... It's my mantra. It keeps me going.

[Not on Fire]

Oh, I feel your pain. There is no easy way around this. Sometimes kids are just so in the moment. I wish I could give you an easy answer. You just have to try different strategies until you solve the problem. Maybe bring a blanket so you can put down the baby and get the boy into the stroller and then pick the baby up again? I had a friend with twins who wanted velco suits so you could just stick the kids to her back. Hmm, I wonder if that would work ;)

[AmyinMotown]

Oh, poor thing. I wish I was there so I could have given you a hug (or a hand). It's the worst, sweaty skin-crawling awful feeling when that happens and you are sure everybody is staring at you thinking you are a terrible mother. But we've all been there.

[midlife mommy]

Sorry you had such an awful time. Personally, I hate the playground, even with just one. Whenever I'm there, I always feel like I should be doing something else, like, I don't know, poking my eyes out with a spork.

[vanna]

*ugh* the park... we've avoided it lately, it's just too hard with a little one and a littler one. one wants to climb and jump and break her head, and the baby doesn't want to be in the stroller, but is too little to really do anything at the park... maybe it'll be better next summer for us all.

[Toni]

Try Target when they are both running. Now I understand why mothers eat their young at times...UGH. It doesn't make you feel any better when people tell you that you're not alone. But sometimes it does make you feel better if you eat ice cream. :)

[caro]

OOoooh, that sounds awful. And I can see it oh so clearly in my not at all distant future. Yow.

[Monica]

My stomach hurts just from reading that -- I can picture the exact same scenario happening to us. I don't think we'll be going to the playground alone anytime soon.

[Megan]

I totally and utterly sympathize with you; I have spent much of the summer avoiding many of the places most parents depend on - the tot lot, playgrounds, coffee shops, etc. I save that for when I have help - the one-on-one ratio is crucial, it seems. It does get better (and then worse, then better again). But for now, open grassy areas in the park have been my salvation.

[Bev]

Oh, how I remember those times with my two! It WILL get better, I promise!!! It did for me, and I began questioning why in hell did I want two children. BTW, my two boys, help me Lord, are now 4 and 2. After the first 6-9 months whereupon my oldest realized this was the way life was going to be, he stopped testing everything I said.

[Elle]

I am right there with you, and have witnessed other moms going through the same thing. Those little buggers know when we don't have enough hands to go around. I have picked (hauled, really) my 2 year old up with her 3 month old sister in the carrier a couple of times. A feat I can only perform with super-strength brought on by sheer panic and frustration.

[Chickenpig]

Try having two the same age where one is hell bent on getting himself creamed by the swings, and the other is hell bent on getting killed by a kid coming down the slide. At least you have only one that can run away and say NO! :)

I usually grab the stroller and say "Bye! I'm leaving now! I'm leaving the naughty boys in the park!" and they both come running. I then praise them copiously for "listening" (yeah, right) and then stroller pop 'em. Needless to say, I don't go the play ground too often. I'm beginning to think about investing in a couple of harness leash things.

[kathleen999]

This is why we don't let our twins loose in the playground. They are 2 1/2 and they STILL don't listen and don't stay together in the playground. I've seen other twins that stay together...strangely they are boy/girl twins. Ours run in opposite directions as soon as you let them loose.

So we are resigned to only going on the swings, where the adult has control, unless we have two adults there. I hope for your sake that once your daughter starts walking, your son also starts minding. Ours are nowhere near that stage...3 in December but they are VERY headstrong.

No advice for you, but I do sympathize.

[Menita]

Oh boy do I sympathize. I don't take them to the park when I am by myself - Polly is independent to the point of insanity, and now Jack climbs and climbs and gets stuck in high places and hurls himself head first in frustration...
What I did find was a enclosed, fenced, pre-school playground that allows people from the neighborhood to use the facilities after 4.30 pm. When I am on my own I take them there, latch the gate shut and let them run wild. Thank heavens for those compassionate people at the school!