Which Is Worse?

Option A:  You leave your child at school and he cries hysterically the whole time you're gone, then he screams, "Mommy" at the top of his lungs when you return and rushes into your arms for big hugs and kisses.

Option B: You leave your child at school and he barely notices you're gone, then when you return he looks up and says,  "Hi Mom" and then cries hysterically when he realizes he has to leave with you instead of staying and playing with the trains.

Comments

[Heather.PNR]

A. A thousand times A. (And I've experienced them both.)

[Beth]

Oh yes, A. Sure B hurts ME, but A hurts us both.

[Cat, Galloping]

I suppose the correct answer here is that A is worse for the *child* and I suppose that's who matters most here. But B is awfully insulting to the mother, and as I tell Gatito when he pushes me away and begs for Daddy, "Mommies have feelings too, you know!"

[Jill]

Worse for who?

[Sam]

Both. But sometimes A is only bad for the parent, because between the dropping off and picking up they are usually just fine!

[Rebekah]

I think A. Wonderful to be loved and needed and missed, but B demonstrates how much fun they're having!

[Shelly]

Of course A. Since both of my girls are option B kids, I can agree with the pain. However, I have noticed that they always want me to come get them. They really need me when they are sick or hurt, feelings or body.

[Dee]

Oh, I remember how well the days of A used o hurt me to my very core.

Nowadays though, I'm lucky. We have a combo A/B scenario going on (most days, with the rare exception). We get the drop off of B and the pick up of A...warms my heart every time. I savor it; after all, there will soon come a day where she no longer rushes to greet me arms outstretched, throwing herself into my arms, smile so wide it could split her face, yelling "mommy!"

I'll miss it soon enough but I imagine B is the next step of progression. Followed eventually by C. Mom, you're embarrassing me, just drop me off down the street so no one sees you...and D. Mom, can I borrow the car to go to the movies?

I imagine my warm, yet still painful, memories of A will no doubt serve me well into my golden years.

[Miss W]

I don't think there is a correct answer -- both would kill me. Though I suppose that B is only really bad for the mom and not the child.

[victoria]

I totally had a B first day of school last week. I was thrilled that she is confident enough in herself and me to not even say goodbye and just throw herself into a totally unknown environment. Now, the mother whose son was having an A moment. My heart totally broke for them both!

[Summer]

A is worse, because that way, you spend all day fretting about your unhappy child, and because B is often easily fixed with the magic words "would you like to go and have a cookie for your snack?" If it's really bad, you might have to pull out the big guns and say "Happy Meal," but even that, in my book, is preferable to the gut-wrenching awfulness of leaving a sobbing child in the hands of (well-qualified, caring) strangers.

[kathleen999]

I couldn't bear to leave if A was happening. I would much prefer B because I can deal with not wanting to leave toys.

[MotherLawyer]

I vote A.

We started a mother's morning out thingy this year and I've got the B drop off with the A pickup~ Perfection!

I've watched a few A's while there and my heart aches for both the mother and the child, both are traumatized:(

Hoping this means the boy LOVES "school"!

[Melissa]

Definitely A.

My 22m son is a B drop off and an A pickup and has been since he started at 4m. He loves school and is always talking about his classmates.

My 4m daughter just started school this week and she's an A. I never imagined it. My son was so happy from the start and she's not. I now have to have my husband take them both b/c I can't stand to see her big crocodile tears.

[DR]

Definitely, definitely A, because B makes me wonder if there's something with the preschool, and so on. And I agree that often the A kids want to SHOW you everything they don't want to leave!

[liz]

Team A.

However, if you stand outside the door of the classroom where your child can't see you, you'll often find that the tears stop within about a minute. Less if the child is offered food.