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Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to always be happy for others, never for ourselves. And even though the happiness is genuine and heartfelt, it carries with it the pang of that awful question: am I going to be the only person on the face of the earth who never gets a break?

You will be a mother someday, that I know, and these bad moments will lose their sting. Until then, just know that you've got a lot of women holding your virtual hand and sending you genuine love.


Gee...five months? How excruciatingly heartbreaking....NOT!
It's hard to be gracious. I wish you luck with that, but even more (much better, super really good luck) with your own baby quest.


Oh, dear, that sucks. I mean, yay for them, of course, but it still doesn't mean you can't be sad for you. Hell, my sister tried for three years, but I was still sad for me when she finally got pregnant, happy as I was for her. It just sucks, and there's no better way to say it. Just know we feel for ya, hon.

Julia S

It sounds like you behaved absolutely beautifully. Good for you.

And a nice cathartic cry sounds good too.


Ouch. No matter how happy we are for others, and how nice they are about it, it still hurts like shit!

Holding your hand.


I second everything said above, especially about the cathartic cry.

Julie Bean

Sending out a big old cyber hug...


Hang in there.


I was also going to say that you should sit down and indulge in that good cry. I've done that numerous times after talking with friends who announced their pregnancies to me. The worst was when my best friend called with her good news right after I found out I had PCOS (after TTC for 8 months). I WAS happy for her but when I hung up I sobbed those great big heaving sobs that can't seem to come out fast enough to relieve the pain. I did the same thing coming home from her baby shower and after I got her happy phone call when her daughter was born,just about a week after my own miscarriage (after a very rocky and short pregnancy).

You were very classy towards your SIL and it was nice of her to be considerate of your feelings in regard to the vacation. I really, really hope that soon you can SHARE the experience of pregnancy with her. *hugs*


I was due on Christmas day of this year too, but lost the baby last week, after 2 years of TTC, one failed IVF cycle, and the last FET. My big fear now is that my SIL will become the first in the family to have a baby-it feels awful to say it, but it feels like it should be our turn first. I hate not being able to genuinely celebrate with people-but it will pass. I commend you on being so gracious. It's easier when they at least try to be sinsitive, isn't it? Bless you- you're in my thoughts.


What a heart breaking situation! And I so hate it when I hear people who already have kids gripe when they haven't even been ttc an average amount of time. It sounds as though you handled the situation as gracefully as possible.

Hugs to you!

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