Thanks to everyone who has provided advice about baby stuff. Keep those cards and letters coming by posting here. I will compile the comments and put a more accessible link somewhere on the blog ASAP.
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The rumors started at around 11:00 am yesterday. I was in the English department office calculating final grades when one of the teachers came in and reported, "The kids say it's cold outside."
We all laughed, locked in the windowless dungeon as we were, feverishly punching calculator keys or (for the nerdier, such as myself) adjusting Excel formulas. I didn't actually get outside--or to a classroom with a window--until 3:15, and the kids were right! It was cool (if not actually cold). The heat wave is over!
My student teaching experience is also over. My grades have been turned in. All the kids passed, and all my seniors will graduate--even the one who wrote her final paper about how Adrienne Rich's poem "Planetarium" is a celebration of the first female astronaut's trip to the moon (except for that rather significant error, it was a pretty insightful paper).
So, now I have no excuse not to focus on The Project. There are cribs to be examined. Paint colors to be chosen. Furniture to be rearranged. For some people, I know this is the fun part. For me, though, it reminds me of planning my wedding, where I was forced to realize that I'm just not that kind of girl. I didn't have fantasies about dresses or place settings or bouquets so when I set about choosing those things, I spent a lot of time wondering if I was doing it right: Are ivory tablecloths tacky if my dress is white? Can hydrangeas be part of a fall bouquet? How is the bustle supposed to work?
I feel the same about baby stuff. I'm not going to see a crib and swoon that that's the crib I've always dreamed of--I don't think that's the infertility taking; it's just me. So mostly I'm just worried about picking the wrong thing: "Oh, my God, I can't believe you got the crib with 2 mattress positions instead of 3--don't you know that babies who sleep in 2 mattress position cribs average IQs that are 20 points lower than those who sleep in 3 mattress position cribs?"
It's a sickness, I know.
1) I didn't believe my DH when he said it was nice outside yesterday either, as I had been sweating like crazy all day while cleaning the house. But lo and behold ... our windows are now open and our place is COOL inside! Thank GOD, b/c I was about to go crazy.
2) You can't by the wrong stuff. Look around, see what's out there, and pick what YOU like/want. As you can see from the response to your last entry, there are a million and one ideas and opinions out there. Go with what YOU think is best for you and your family. If you're not sure about a purchase, keep the receipt and you can always take it back. And it's O.K. if doing this stuff isn't your thing! Since you CAN'T make a "wrong" purchase", do whatever you need to to make this part as painless for you as possible, whatever that means to you.
Oh, and HAPPY END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR! =)
Posted by: Rebekah | June 16, 2005 at 10:35 AM
Tips for buying cribs:
Bring along something heavyish and put it in the crib. Take it out of the crib. Do this over and over with the crib in it's different positions.
Is the crib easy to move? How about taking sheets on and off?
Does it come assembled? If not, how easy/difficult will it be to assemble it? If so, will it fit through the nursery door assembled?
If the sides go up and down, are they easy to manipulate with a baby in one hand?
It's all about your comfort - babies will pretty much sleep anywhere. When they're not having colic.
Posted by: liz | June 16, 2005 at 11:05 AM
you know, if you don't want to, you don't have to do it. baby will not will not will not care what color the walls are, what the crib sheets have on them, whether the rocking chair matches the crib.
I suspect you're really finding it fun in there somewhere, and that's why you should do it. But, if you don't, you just don't have to do it.
bj
Posted by: bj | June 16, 2005 at 01:51 PM
If it makes you feel any better I am not planning on doing a nursery at all. I just got disgusted with the prices and we live in a 2 bedroom rental so I couldn't justify spending lots to make it nice anyway. So we will have a cosleeper in our room where he/she will sleep and nap and we are keeping the other stuff in the guest room but not really decorating it. Whe we buy a place in a year or two we will do a proper kids room but can delightfully skip all the twee baby stuff anyway (I was never a fan of little lambs and ducks or any of that anyway). So don't feel like you have to do it. Do it if you want to but nurseries are for parents, not babies. My sister in law who is a decorator and does lots of fancy expensive baby rooms was horrified that we weren't decorating a baby room which truthfully made me want to go this route even more. Ahhh, sister in laws....
Posted by: Amy | June 16, 2005 at 04:35 PM
I'm selling my crib at my garage sale Saturday. I've had it for six years and two kids.
There are different mattress positions?
Posted by: Becki | June 16, 2005 at 05:48 PM
I'm not that kind of girl either, combined with the fact I have no taste or imagination when it comes to decorating. So learn from my mistakes. To select the right color paint, first select the crib set that you want to go with. I did not do this. I figured, the study needed to be painted anyway, so it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and paint it - the crib sets could wait until I was closer to getting the babies to put in the crib. Mistake #1.
Tip No. 2: once you have an idea what color you want to paint the nursery, by several small samples of different shades of the color and actually paint them on the wall in the room you've chosen, before you slap that stuff up on the walls. The lighting in a room will be a factor in the actual color you end up with. I did not do this and the color I selected looks like a different shade in my bedroom than it does in the nursery - which looks like crap. Mistake #2.
Tip No. 3: Stay away from Butter Up Yellow. It looks like a soft, neutral yellow on the paint color wheel, like in the latest Pottery Barn catalog, but its not. Everyone who has seen the freshly painted walls in new nursery exclaims "Wow" but not in a good way; in a "wow that is a way to bright, obnoxious color" way. Mistake #3.
We will be repainting once I get the courage up to buy the crib sets.
Posted by: Enough Already | June 16, 2005 at 06:38 PM
You can step off the Baby Stuff Train if you want to. Seriously. If you have diapers, a few outfits, and a carrier you'll honestly be OK for the first week. The baby can sleep in your bed and be perfectly fine for a few days (or, hell, a few months).
The baby has no idea if you decorated or not. Save your money for iced coffee instead.
Posted by: Moxie | June 16, 2005 at 06:40 PM
Sigh. How many times must I type "I second what Moxie said?" She is so wise, our Moxie!
But I do agree- all the fancy stuff isn't neccessary. And you'll know so much more about what types of gear is going to work for you after you actually have the kid. Relax. Ain't no big thang.
Posted by: Kristine | June 16, 2005 at 09:46 PM
It's really comforting to see everyone say, "Step off the stuff train! Just get what you want, or what you think will work for you!" 'Cause I'd love to be able to confidently tell you to do just that, except I'm not really in any position to do so... 'cause we're just figuring out where and what and when and oh my god and I'm not even going to be home for another 2 weeks. Meanwhile I'm just another clueless procrastinator newbie.
I have some friends who live in close urban quarters who have done a really graceful job of fitting their two tiny children into their home and their lives. I'm trying to use their practices for inspiration... but, they're moving to a giant house in the suburbs next month. Such is life.
Posted by: Emma Jane | June 17, 2005 at 01:16 AM
I second what everyone else says about waiting to get some stuff. Also, ask around and borrow. Muffin Man's swing, bouncy seat, crib, exersaucer, and most of his clothes were either handed down or borrowed and EVERYTHING he's grown out of/no longer uses has been handed on (except those things that were in bad shape and the little footie pajamas he wore home from the hospital.)
Posted by: liz | June 17, 2005 at 10:52 AM
I have never heard of the mattress position thing...yet another yucky "you are a bad parent' conspiracy thing. I have not "decorated" my nursery yet either. I ordered my crib and my only requirement was that it was not too flimsy.
I still have visions of my own baby sister (she is now 29) climbing on her crib at age 7 months. I actually found one that is made in the USA... (hard to find at a reasonable price) and actually made of solid wood, not particle board)....Baby's Dream brand.
Most of my pals told me not to spend too much on anything and they all gave me a shower and brought things that they liked!
Good luck!
Posted by: Toffee | June 17, 2005 at 12:45 PM
We just started (at 6 mo. pregnant) on the nursery and gear. I was discussing this topic with the nurses at OBs office yesterday (all three of us had suffered losses at various stages)
One nurse said to me "you obviously have boobs, you are ready. Don't worry about anything else, the baby won't know the difference." This exchange made me smile.
Posted by: Heather | June 18, 2005 at 10:41 AM
My pregnant friend bores people extolling the virtues of the £500 (!!!) Bugaboo stroller that was made famous when Gwynnie was pictured in UK wheeling little Apple around in it.
Posted by: Em | June 19, 2005 at 05:07 AM
You need diapers, undershirts, receiving blankets, and if you have a car, a car seat. All the rest is just stuff.
Posted by: molly | June 20, 2005 at 05:27 PM