I'm not a big phone person. If I could do all my communicating in person or via email or IM, I'd be happy. True, there was that dark teenagery period when the phone was surgically connected to my ear, and I spent hours doing that three-way calling trick when you call one friend and get her to say bad things about another friend who is silently listening (and fuming) on the other line, but I'm much more mature now.
So, even though I have friends and family who are phone people, the fact that I am known to respond to a phone message with an email has generally persuaded folks not to call with great frequency. Except for now.
Oh no, now that I'm 39.5 weeks pregnant, everyone who's anyone finds a reason to call me on a daily basis. Sometimes there's a pretense for the call--my mom who called to give me the update on her doctor's visit (she's switching to Allegra-D); my dad who called to give me his review of March of the Penguins (apparently the male and female penguins share responsibility for caring for the penguin egg equally--isn't that nice?); a college friend who called to see if the phone number she had for me was correct (?????); my mother in law who called to let me know her schedule for Thursday morning just in case I, you know, needed her for anything.
Pretense or not, eventually a caller will say, "So, you know I was really calling to see if you'd had the baby yet."
And I've tried to come up with a clever retort, but--never having called someone to ask them if they've had a baby--I'm a little stymied. Because it seems a little, I don't know, rude? I mean, it's not like we're going to forget to tell anyone that we had a baby. It's the kind of event that gets your attention and that you probably want to share with your nearest and dearest as soon as is practical, right?
So, why call? The only possible outcomes I see are these:
A) You're going to be talking to someone who has not yet had a baby and therefore has nothing to talk about except how she's sitting around waiting to have a baby
or
B) You're going to be talking to someone who has just had a baby but has been so completely overwhelmed that she hasn't had the time to let you know that she's had the baby and therefore has no time to talk to you now.
What good can come from that?
I'm mostly kidding. It's nice to know that people are thinking about us. Kind of.
You're a tough cookie! I'll bet they're really calling because they can't stop thinking about you and are almost as excited about this baby thing as you are!
Posted by: Cat, Galloping | August 22, 2005 at 05:47 PM
Screen your calls with... "BABYWATCH 2005... This just in.. BG is still pregnant and is not showing any signs of labor... Be assured we will call you if the status changes. Until then, leave a message and we'll email you back."
Posted by: Misha | August 22, 2005 at 05:51 PM
Oh, this drove me INSANE, especially since I went to 41W5D. I had to ask my mom to stop calling me. Misha's idea is great!
Posted by: Annelise | August 22, 2005 at 06:53 PM
We were advised early on to lie (mildly, by a week or so) about the due date for exactly this reason.
Unfortunately, I was clumsy about it, and many people noticed the shift from "late August" to "Labor Day" (ha! ha! ha!) or "early September"...
Posted by: Emma Jane | August 22, 2005 at 07:14 PM
My MIL called me every day from week 38 on, after I made the mistake of telling her I was 3 cm dilated at my 38 week appointment. She decided that meant I was going to have the baby AT ANY MOMENT OH MY GOD.
Eventually I stopped answering the phone, and the babe showed up on schedule, one day before her due date.
Posted by: Anna | August 22, 2005 at 07:42 PM
I was such a bitch at the end of my pregnancies. I hated talking to anyone. So I didn't answer the phone much. Which generally pissed people off. But when they came to see the baby they got over it.
So. You still pregnant?
Posted by: Kristine | August 22, 2005 at 07:51 PM
oh, that's the phone version of "refresh, refresh, refresh!!!!" people are pulling for you, and can't WAIT to hear the good news.
L.A. lurker
well aware of how annoying it is, and yet with a trigger finger over here...
refresh-refresh-refresh!
Posted by: r | August 22, 2005 at 08:56 PM
We've been going through the same thing. Every four minutes the phone rings and it drives me mad -- but then I feel like a jerk. I know people are just excited for us but truly, if I'd had the baby I would have called. Promise.
When I'm at home I just go outside and then don't check messages. It just seems easier to hide.
Good luck to you! Hope the last bit goes quickly.
Posted by: sarah | August 22, 2005 at 09:22 PM
I think they're calling so much for the same reason I check your site so much -- just can't wait to get the good news finally! I'm so excited for you.
Posted by: Monica | August 22, 2005 at 09:27 PM
I have three words for you: screen your calls! :) I had the same experience with both pregnancies, especially with my mom and MIL (both of whom were invited to be in the delivery room with us). My mom called me daily, "So, I'm going to be out this afternoon - if there's ANY reason why I shouldn't go, call me!" It got a little trying. I ended up having a 48 hour labor with #1 anyway, so they both coulda walked to us and not missed it!
Posted by: Lissie | August 22, 2005 at 09:44 PM
Just say "Oh God yes, I had the baby yesterday and I completely forgot to tell you!"
And then let them know they'll be the *first* to know when you go into labour. (I used this to the question that I got every phone call for months - "So, are you pregnant yet?") Now not everybody can be first, and there is a priority list of who to call in what order, but by God it's amazing how many even peripheral acquaintances will believe you and shut up. Or they'll get that you're being sarcastic and shut up. Whatever. Either works.
Posted by: Kez | August 22, 2005 at 09:58 PM
Having been pregnant 42w+1d I know what you're talking about. I finally installed a voice male message anouncing ther was not a baby yet..
Posted by: mijk42 | August 23, 2005 at 07:12 AM
I'm glad you mentioned this subject, as I've been wanting to call you and notice you didn't post your phone number on your site. (Just kidding!) Good luck during these last few days/weeks. I'll be thinking about you (but not calling).
Posted by: Cathy | August 23, 2005 at 08:07 AM
Good. I'm glad my family and friends aren't the only asshats to do this. It drives me BONKERS. I mean, do they really think (especially if we've already asked them to be in the delivery room) that we would NOT call them??? Maybe we were going to wait until her first birthday??
Bonkers...
Posted by: Toni | August 23, 2005 at 08:24 AM
I like the answering machine message and also this idea: A daily e-mail that says "Still pregnant, and I will let you know when that changes."
Posted by: liz | August 23, 2005 at 11:04 AM
I hear you. I'm not a phone person either. Maybe you could beat some of them to the punch by sending out a daily e-mail update to family and close friends?
Posted by: Jena | August 23, 2005 at 11:06 AM
If they continue to ask you might say. "I'm not sure really, it's hard to tell."
That should confuse them long enough for you to actually have the baybee.
*returning to stalking your blog for the good news*
Posted by: cat | August 23, 2005 at 12:14 PM
I'm so going to have to remember about the voice mail message saying "still pregnant" thing, I can see myself getting real cranky with constant phone calls.
Hope you get some relief from the love and frequent phone refreshing.
Posted by: Anne | August 23, 2005 at 04:26 PM
and if you didn't get calls, you would probably be complaining too....why not just be thankful that you have people who even care?
Posted by: sally | August 23, 2005 at 06:05 PM
If you don't answer your home phone, they'll call your cell, which will be in your purse on the windowsill in your LDR room, and no one will have a hand free to find the damned thing and shut it off.
Posted by: Shamhat | August 23, 2005 at 06:20 PM
Sally--The great thing about this being my blog is that I get to complain either way.
Maybe you should try getting a blog of your own rather than using a fake email address to post on someone else's?
Posted by: Brooklyn Girl | August 23, 2005 at 06:28 PM
Ah BG, forgive the humourless (read: Sally) for they know not what they're missing in life.
Thinking of you and wishing you much luck on the next part of your journey. I know I'm at the top of your notification list ;)
Posted by: Kinneret | August 23, 2005 at 09:30 PM
I demand that someone have a baby! I'm wildly refreshing at Leery, Barely, and you looking for your much awaited babies.
bj
PS: I must have people well trained (but, I guess I also delivered before my due dates, that must be it).
Posted by: bj | August 24, 2005 at 10:56 AM
I demand that someone have a baby! I'm wildly refreshing at Leery, Barely, and you looking for your much awaited babies.
bj
PS: I must have people well trained (but, I guess I also delivered before my due dates, that must be it).
Posted by: bj | August 24, 2005 at 10:56 AM
I demand that someone have a baby! I'm wildly refreshing at Leery, Barely, and you looking for your much awaited babies.
bj
PS: I must have people well trained (but, I guess I also delivered before my due dates, that must be it).
Posted by: bj | August 24, 2005 at 10:58 AM
I was going to make the same recommendation as Kez--"Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to call you? The baby was born the other day..."
Posted by: J | August 24, 2005 at 12:23 PM
I'm 39wk 3d, have been following you closely and feel your pain. I think a good 2 hours of every day at work is responding to emails "have you had the kid yet". Um, no. But thanks for reminding me. I HATE the phone and am dreading that even worse! Luckily, my cell phone broke about a week ago, so people can't stalk me that way!
Good luck!
Posted by: L | August 24, 2005 at 12:46 PM