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Alexa

Yes, I do remember that makeover. In fact, I thought about it last weekend when I went shopping and had a hard time finding clothes that fit properly. I agree that it is as much about attitude as anything--attitude, confidence, and style. But you are right that it is hard to feel confident and stylish when there simply are fewer things available that flatter your figure.

Shanna

I so agree with you on the finding nice clothes in the bigger sizes. It is great if we had Stacy and Clinton to take us shopping in NYC and foot the bill finding fashionable clothes in my size. However, that just ain't happening so unless I want to spend my entire tax refund on a new wardrobe, which I don't, I guess buying men's jeans and hoping to find a nice looking shirt in the Women's section at Kohl*s will have to do. Luckily I can wear jeans and sweatshirts to work. I can't wait for summer at least I can find cute skirts in my size.
I have always questioned why the fashion designers think that if you need to wear a size 16 or 18 for you behind that also means you are 8 feet tall? I am 5'4" with a big butt, I hate having to shorten every pair of pants I buy. And the Petite sizes, still have to go up at least one more size to a 20 or 22 because why? I don't get it. Oh well. Love the blog and so happy that you have a decent husband who can admire a woman for her attitude instead of her butt size.

Cat, Galloping

I wear approximately a size 10 but apparently my butt/hips are much bigger than that because I cannot find underwear to fit me. My Old Navy under the belly maternity underwear still fits perfectly and I heart them, but can a not pregnant person buy more maternity underwear when these wear out and still hold her head up high?

Tara

This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sriously.

http://www.bodyforlife.com/

Tara

Seriously even!

sweetcoalminer

I think about that show too. Macy's has a decent selection.

It is depressing. But, you know what, it's doable. People lose their weight. I don't want to be a fat slug when my baby's a toddler because I just don't want to set that example.

Maybe I should exercise instead of netsurfing.

Anon

Actually, as a woman who has been over a size 14 since college (and has traveled up and down between 14 and 22), I've always been able to find fashionable clothes for both work and play at (fairly) reasonable prices in double digits sizes. There are stores seem to get that not all size 20s are six feet tall and have jeans that are totally not mom jeans.

Abby

Wel, anon, why don't you share the gold with all of us? Please. And thanks!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants her to expound on that comment, right?

I also have to hem everything I buy. SUCKS. Big rear-end and short legs. Hrmph.

Brooklyn Girl

Yes, Anon--I'd be curious to know where you shop, as I haven't been nearly as lucky.

Anon

I would have been more helpful in my first comment, but then the baby needed me, so I hit post before I could offer specific suggestions. Sorry -- I wasn't trying to be a jerk. My taste in clothes tends to be fairly conservative but not dowdy. For work clothes (my profession requires suit/dressy work clothes), I shop at T*albots -- they're not cheap, but they have an amazing range of sizes (plus, plus petites, etc.) and they never really go out of style. If you hit their semi-annual sale, you can get pretty good deals and they carry everything from casual clothes to party clothes to coats. When I'm a bit smaller (a 14ish), I've had good luck with J*ones New York and Eddie B*auer's dressier clothes. But T*albots is pretty much the only place I can buy suits that don't need major alterations (their jackets fit women with boobs). For casual clothes, I shop J. J*ill and L*and's End. Neither is a bargain basement (although both have great sale pages on their websites), but they carry fashionable casual clothes. AND, L*and's End WILL HEM YOUR PANTS FOR FREE. That's right: for free. Most of their casual pants can be ordered with free custom hemming to the inseam you specify. No trip to the seamstress makes everything better. J.J*ill's pants seem to come at a good length for me (I'm 5'4"), so I don't hem them. And J.J*ill's jeans are so comfortable, they're pretty much all I wear at home. Both L*and's End and J.J*ill put some stretch in most of their casual pants (so does T*albots), so they're really comfortable, even if you fluctuate a couple of pounds. I get all of my bathing suits at L*and's End. They're pricey, but they last forever, can be bought as separates and actually support a boob larger than a C-cup. Most of my casual t-shirts and shorts come from O*ld Navy (their XXL is a true 18-20) and if your store doesn't have your size, their website might. And all of my maternity clothes came from L*and's End and J.C. P*enney's (I didn't have to dress up while I was pregnant). I've also bought things from the J*unonia catalog/website (good quality and well priced casual and active clothes, including things like plus size workout and ski clothes) and my size 22 best friend swears by M*arina Rinaldi for her work clothes (she also has a dress-up job), which is super expensive, but beautiful. The final tip I have is that almost all of my shopping is done online. Most stores don't carry many pieces in the higher sizes, so they run out of stock quickly (and T*albots doesn't carry some of their sizes at all in their stores) -- it's annoying to always pay for shipping, but once you figure out what size you are at a particular retailer, you can order with confidence. Also, T*albots, P*enney's, O*ld Navy, and L*and's End all allow returns at stores (L*and's End can be returned at S*ears), so you don't have to pay for return shipping.

dish

Ah, the clothing battle. I just hate it. I haven't been shopping for clothes in about a year partly because I just can't stand it, and partly because I am finally getting back into my prepregnancy clothes, so there's a whole closet (or two...) full of stuff for me to wear.

Or not. I have always been pear-shaped, but after the baby the bottom of the pear has gotten wider, meaning that most of my two-piece outfits don't work. By the time I get into the bottom half, the top half is HUGE. Not attractive. I'm holding off until I get to a goal weight/size before I go shopping, so I am piecing things together as I go. I would say that the biggest reason for holding off is the argument you made that it is so difficult to find nice-fitting and nice-looking clothes in double digits. Right before the pregnancy, I was in the 18-20 range. Returning to work when the baby was 3 mos I was still in maternity clothes, and after losing 40 pounds I am just now back into my size 18s (the 20's are too big now, thankfully). I don't expect to ever be smaller than a 14- it's not at all realistic for me.

Oh, and don't get me started on the length of pants. I'm 5'7", which puts me right on the border between regular and tall pants. I need a tall for the inseam, but then the waistline is up around my neck and I look like Ed Grimley (ala SNL). So, I usually don pants that are about and inch too short and wear only flat shoes...

Sorry for rambling...

Anon

P.S. T*albots is having a sale right now...

Nanny in Atlanta

You were so sweet to take an interest in me and my daughter who had SUA, that I thought I would hop in here and update you. Owen was born 3/7/06 and he has a Level IV case of Kidney Reflux and may need surgery. Liz goes to the Urologist tomorrow. If interested in her birth story, go to http://www.lizcjones.com/blog.html

Abby

Woot. Thanks, Anon!

AmyinMotown

HI! First time commenter but can I just say I love love love a) your response to Resolve (I stopped reading Newsweek awhile ago when it seemed to go all Robb Report with its shopping advice and now am yet more glad I did) b) your husband for commenting on the attractiveness of a bigger woman and c) this thread! I like Nordstrom for larger clothes also--keep an eye out for sales as it can be rather pricey. I really am looking for edgier clothes and covet bandlu but right now have a serious lack of funds.

Lydia

Hmmm.... I am fairly tall and wear a size 16/18 depending on the maker and the part of my body I am trying to clothe. I wish i could sympathize and say that I too have difficulty finding things that fit well and make me look good. But, i have found that Old Navy has a TON of stuff, both in store and online, that really fits properly and looks great for not too much money (and they have excellent clearance). Also, i shop Lane Bryant a good bit, who has AWESOME clearance frequently. Maybe I'm just lucky in body type? But i generally feel pretty damn cute, most of the time. And? I would be that woman, who isn't afraid to wear sexy, trendy clothes, and who WILL eat that damn pizza if she wants to!

Misha

16/18w here! I shop at Macys (love), Old Navy, Lane Bryant, JC Penneys and Nordies. Now if I too could only find the perfect undies. Though I do like Victoria Secret's Body in XL.

donna

My sister-in-law swears by Torrid, which carries lots of cute clothes in larger sizes.

Online here:

http://www.torrid.com/

Vanessa Johnson

I've been shopping online at bargain finder websites lately. ?? dunno..I like the surf ability to just meander all these different stores. You can find some good stuff.

ladyfado

Truth is, I'm trying to figure out what's all the fuss. I've bounced around between 14 and 24 over the last 15 years, with my latest accomplishment being a gradual loss of weight that brought me from a 24 to a 16 within the last nine months. The key: I parked my broken down car in the garage and took public transportation--and walked. I cut 1000 calories from my daily intake. But here's my point: I've never had a problem finding cool gear, whether for work or play. Perhaps I'm of a different generation and style (I wear polished goth and funky boho, with the usual suits and dresses for business meetings and semiformal), but I now have a huge glut of big clothes that I now need to give away--some with tags still on--and at a size 16 I shop both Misses and Plus. Here's a list of my online shops: Torrid, Bandlu.com, Igigi, Newport News, Spiegel, not to mention the usual fare at Old Navy and Alloy. Sizeappeal and Kiyonna are also great bets. Gap carries up to size 20 for casual gear, as does J. Jill and Eileen Fisher. I live in an urban area, so shops like Ashley Stewart are always reliable for hip clothes for work and the club. I'm really not impressed with haute couture because most of the designers ignore women who have hips and breasts, especially those of us who are Black, Latina, or otherwise inclined towards curvy figures--single and double digited sizes. There are some exceptions, such as Mishoud (bad spelling) in Brooklyn, and some of the other smaller designers, but again, I don't have respect for designers who are not diverse in their vision of fashion for women--that's a negative reflection on them--not me. In short, I'm definitely not stressing about finding clothes! And as for the "what not to wear" ladies, I think that we women can be our worst critics, especially when it comes to self-image and nitpicking about fitting other people's standards. I'm careful about my hemline, but I refuse to hide my body under fabric out of shame. Be proud of your curves, because they reflect your individual beauty and sensuality.

Skittypow

I am really glad I stumbled upon this blog. I really related to a lot of what you all had to say. I have been a size 16 since I was in JR high. I have always gone back and forth with being ashamed of my wieght and proud of being different. I have always been told that I have a beautiful body and that even though I am bigger, I look great in everything I wear. My friends and family must think it is so simple for me to prance around as the polished person that I have become, but the truth is, I am always searching and hunting for clothes that might by the grace of god look good and feel good on my frame. I have only been able to wear clothing and FEEL good in it once in my life. That was after I had my son and lost about 40lbs. I became a size 14 and felt like I was on top of the world. I could shop at Target, Kohls, anywhere really and find stuff in a Large or XL that were just right or even too big on me. Soon life caught up with me and I started a job that required me to sit for almost 8 hours entirely. And now on top of working full time and being a mother, I decided to go back to school. Stress has been building and I started to neglect my wardrobe and buy anything, and I mean anything, that fit. I lost my style and became depressed. But... recently, my friend asked me to be in her wedding and I realized that even though I am still a size 16, I am on the higher end and my clothes are super tight. I started eating healthier and stopped going out as much. I started exercising and getting outdoors as much as could after work or before school. I know that I will never be a size 2, or even a ten, that is not what I want, but when I look at myself now, at a comfortable size 16, I feel good. I just purchased about $200 worth of cute clothes at Torrid.com and am pleased with the results. I am a size 1 or 16 by their size chart and it's fine with me. I guess after all my rambling, my point is... it is ok to be bigger, just don't loose confidence, it is the one thing that only you can truly control in your life! Thanks!

Karen

Just found this blog and all the wonderful discussion in the comments. I'm starting a blog specifically for our size 14-20 world, where we shop both Misses Extended and the smaller plus sizes. It's the early days, but you are all welcome to visit and I would love any ideas you have for it! Seems like there's a few of my shopping sisters here!
http://styleontheedge.wordpress.com/

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