Yeah, I pretty much did C, D, and E (but minus the bloody Mary as I was getting over the stomach flu). I might have been more brazen (who am I kidding) if I had extended more energy cleaning up before people arrived.
I am not a tidy person, and I don't particularly care about a mess, as clearly, one must count on the generation of quite a bit of mess when there are tiny humans around, but this just seemed like a particularly brazen act of (non?)parenting.
Earlier this week I was running a tiresome but important errand with The Girl (also known as She Who Will Not Be Contained), and the only thing that would calm her down was a box of raisins. When she had the box, she was happy: she opened and closed the box, she ate some raisins, she chewed on the box, she showed off the box to anyone who looked vaguely in her direction. As a result, a fair number of raisins hit the floor (of a large box store). I dutifully picked up the ones I could find and would have apologized to the janitorial staff had there been any around.
After witnessing the display in my own home, though, I wonder if I'm being overly concerned. How much mess generation is acceptable for the 3 and under crowd?
i don't think it is ever proper to allow your child (regardless of age) to make a mess and leave it for someone else to clean up. i feel the same about animals too. my dog goes on someones lawn (or in a park or wherever) i clean it up. i don't care if no one is there to see. it is my dog, my responsibility. same with my son. if he drops stuff on the floor i clean it up or now that he is old enough, he does it.
otherwise you end up with over-privaliged kids. oh, wait, i think we have some of that now...
Posted by: kris | December 30, 2008 at 10:24 PM
I agree with Kris.
I watched another Mom indulge her child at the grocery store today... It was a busy time, and the little girl wanted to HELP the checker scan. The Mom didn't stop the little girl. The checker looked apologetic, but he was too nice to tell the little girl no...
Thus, the little girl helped the checker hold each item up to the scanner.
It took a long time. The Mom smiled and said, "you know how it is with kids...."
What do you think? Is that indulgent or am I just in too much of a hurry?
Posted by: Jk | December 31, 2008 at 01:18 AM
How you handled the raisins was good manners.
How your guest acted was bad manners.
Kids have to learn to live in a world with other people from the beginning, it's not a "get to it when it's age appropriate" project.
Posted by: MotherLawyer | December 31, 2008 at 11:01 AM
I agree with the others. You are a model for your children, and by picking up those raisins, you are modeling good behavoir and being conscious of others. There is simply not enough of that going on these days, as your guest showed.
Posted by: caramama | December 31, 2008 at 01:48 PM
You did the right thing, kids should never be allowed to create a mess. How will they learn good behavior.
For the poster above regarding the checkout scanner, I would have exploded. Come on, maybe one item but that's it. And I am pretty laid back parent but it is not ok to be rude to others.
Posted by: Elizabeth | December 31, 2008 at 04:39 PM
I usually ask the host what the rules are of the house. For example in our house no food or drink is allowed in the living room. If it was, I'd be vacuuming and carpet cleaning every day. We have a sizable kitchen and the rule is that food stays there. Sometimes we bend the rules with popcorn when we are having a family movie, but our drinks are lined up at the end of the island in the kitchen if we need a drink during the movie.
I think it's important to ask the rules of the house and then the parent should let the child know that those are the rules in that house. Kids get the idea that every house has different rules.
If you could eat in other rooms, and I was a guest, I'd pick up my child's mess. Now that my daughter is older (she's 8), I've instilled in her that she needs to clean up her own mess. If we're eating at Grandma's (who let's them eat dinner in the living room on a Twister mat as we run out of kitchen room at her house), I always make sure she cleans her plate and puts it in the sink or dishwasher.
So sorry your guests were so messy!
Posted by: Heather | January 02, 2009 at 12:37 PM
If it's your own house, you can permit whatever mess level you're comfortable with. But in someone else's house you pick up the darn Goldfish tout de suite!
I'd have been annoyed at your guest's behavior. In no etiquette book is it OK for someone to let their kid spill crackers on the rug and just LEAVE them there.
Posted by: TB | January 03, 2009 at 01:49 PM
I am still laughing my a$$ off at "She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Contained"!!!!!
Posted by: Sara | January 06, 2009 at 11:48 PM
It is definitely never too early for kids to learn good behavior--I guess that other mom doesn't agree. I think if it were me I would have probably tried to intervene while making light of the situation, "Oh look, honey, your goldfish are trying to escape all over the floor. Let's get a fishbowl to keep them at the table so there are plenty for you to eat." And I would have gently taken the bag of crackers and dumped them into something resembling a fishbowl. But I also have the excuse of dog hair on the floor which makes eating fallen food completely verboten (we do vacuum, but it seems to reappear almost instantly).
Posted by: Jenn (dish) | January 16, 2009 at 03:29 PM
A good post regarding Children Behavior and the parents tendency towards the same.
Thanks for posting.
Kate
Posted by: Parenting Instructions | January 20, 2009 at 03:29 PM
You handled the raisins in a great way. I think it was proper. Must say you are an example to your kid! This is Alice from Israeli Uncensored News.
Posted by: Alice | August 09, 2009 at 12:18 AM